I’ve been something of a recluse these past two weeks. What with the holidays and all, it’s natural I haven’t been writing, but there’s also something very unnatural about it.
Writing, more often than not, comes to me. We can try to go to writing ourselves, but I find that doing so makes the writing feel forced, pressured, and over-frequent. When writing comes to me, it’s more natural, conversational, and effective (I feel).
I want to attract writing. I want writing to want to come visit me, anytime, anywhere, I want to be available for it. Part of my stressors is beginning a new job not this coming Monday, but the next. I have one more week of liberty and freedom, but also only one more week of not beginning to prepare for the bills coming due, and those past due.
Another part of my stress is that for the past two weeks, I’ve been sleeping quite awfully, waking up anywhere between once an hour, to no less than twice a night. Waking from nightmares and mental permutations that leave my heart racing, and unable to return to sleep. It’s been taxing on me, truly, and it lead to some very stressful holidays.
I began the year properly though, waking luckily without a headache as a result of celebrations the night before with my dearest Callie. Then Callie and I went on a hike with one of, well originally my friends, but I would say now one of our friends. It was taxing as well, but more rewarding than any nightmares could ever be.
I thought of trying to make a post every day this year, but after missing the first, it was no longer attainable, and I could more easily let it go. I’m certainly a victim of FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, although it affects me in non-standard ways. Most commonly setting self deadlines, or the time-limited/deadline content in video games is what makes me most afraid of missing out. But since that opportunity has passed, I no longer feel the need to, which is nice.
I do still want to write, although after next week, I know I’m not going to be able to do every day unless I do back to daily musings full of frustration and angst, which I don’t particularly want to do.
In addition to writing, I’m doing one podcast/webshow a week, and two every other week, which I recently learned take a little more time to clean up before publishing as I thought. It’s not terribly difficult, just time consuming. In fact, I ought to have done that before writing and let uploads happen whilst writing but alas, that moment has passed, and I will not worry about it any longer. I also have started a Patreon, and do have a patron, so I’ve got to publish a fair sized piece there as well at some point within the month, I think the 15th, or around halfway through would be good, but perhaps nearer to the beginning is best, I don’t know yet.
So soon I’ll be working, podcasting, live-streaming, writing, and still trying to design tabletop games and other content. I have a new idea for a boardgame based around the nightmares I had been having, but I’ll save that for another time. It sounds like a lot, but I don’t often feel like I do enough, and I know that my job will not make me feel like I’m using my time well or wisely, so it will be harder to fit in the things that do feel worthwhile to me.
I think I’m going to try writing on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday next week. Since it’s an off-week for the second of my shows, Set The Table, that means Friday will be a post for the Red Hoodie Games blog. Speaking of Set The Table, we recorded episode 2 yesterday and I’ll be preparing that for publication today, search for us on YouTube or iTunes and you’ll find us, a couple of nerds talking about tabletop role-playing games. Although, please excuse some weird audio at the start. I’m still learning how to manage audio from a guest without any sort of external mixer. If you have any tips I’d love to heard them.
So, I guess, for now, expect to see a little less of me. Maybe that’s a good thing, maybe it’s not, who knows. I do know, that if you want to see more, please visit Patreon.com/skoda. I know I’ve been pitching it a lot lately, but I just want to get the word out there. I’ll stop for a while after next week.
Happy New Year to you! I don’t set resolutions for a list of reasons that mostly revolve around psychology, but if you do, I wish you well in your task of achieving them. Keep an open mind, get good sleep, and be kind out there.
