My first blog post in years…where do I begin? I am feeling spurred on finally to do more with my life and finally seek my methods of self-employment. The next post will likely be on my feelings of employment, but for now, I’d like to address my recent experience with a trend I’ve noticed.
Several years ago, maybe even before I started my first job at McDonald’s, I told myself that if I wrote books I wouldn’t have to work. Since then, I’ve told myself, “Oh if I just write a book I’ll be all set and won’t have to work at a job I dislike” at every job I’ve had. Which, mind you hasn’t been many, but enough to make me think that I won’t like any job I get.
This morning, I left from my girlfriend’s house, an hour from home, at around 6:45am. I had to stop at home to shower and get ready first, but I had to be to work by 9 at least. I was thinking this morning, that if I had only written a book, or developed the website for education I’ve wanted to, or pursued one of my many ideas to self-employ, I could have slept in with my girlfriend whom I love. I would not have had to waste gas and miles going to a job I don’t like. I wouldn’t have to spend eight hours a day doing something that makes me wish I wasn’t. I could be more free, if only I took more control.
So my theme today is my time being consumed. Not by some monster, not by others, not even by the government, but by me. I waste my time, playing games trying to make working a job I dislike more bearable. Dreaming of ranking high enough to go pro, or have a good enough internet connection at home to stream as a career. I consume my own time pursuing things to make my current station less bad, when I should be investing my time to make my future station exactly as I want it.
It’s very difficult to do something today that I don’t want to do, like write a novel, or start designing a website. It’s not difficult because I don’t want to do those things, but for me, they are complete within my mind. I’ve worked them out perfectly within my headspace, and I’ve seen the beginning and the end of the story or project and okay. I don’t want to put in the work to manifest those ideas. Well, here I am, finally starting to.
Blogging is one of the methods on my list to self-employ. I plan to develop my educational website, a platform somewhat similar to moodle, or blackboard, but with the ability to gameify any course, thus relating to my interest in gaming for mental health. I would like to begin creating 3D stock models for use in games and animations. I have an immense about of idea content for books, or movies, which I really ought to write so others can experience the wonderful stories I’ve made up for myself. I design adventure paths for Role-Playing Games (RPGs). I even think I have a few potentially successful board/card game ideas as far as gaming for mental health goes. I’m a thinker, a real problem solver, and the way I see it, the world is full of problems, and I solve my problems with games so why shouldn’t everyone else?
Well okay it won’t work for everyone, but you get the gist. I’m starting to create, and express, and give something to the world. I only hope that when I get to discussing serious mental health concerns, or game strategies, or what have you, that the readers listen.
Thank you, and welcome to my blog.
