Hello there.
It’s been a short while hasn’t it? I didn’t write last week, and even as I type now I have to get that writing feeling back into my fingers. I started a new job, and it was wearing at my soul last week.
I have today off (thanks MLK jr.), and felt it was only right to both try to get back into the swing of writing a few times a week, and to update my readers on why I haven’t been writing and what’s going on for me.
Work doesn’t make me feel good. I’ve stopped looking for a job where I can feel good about what I’m doing because most jobs don’t make you feel good anyway. It’s not you doing the tasks that makes you feel good, even if you’re one of those people that enjoy work. It’s being with your friends, feeling like you’re doing something important. For most of us who aren’t surgeons, or roboticists, or maybe therapists, our job could be done by robots, or potentially not needed at all.
Callie and I have been playing a lot of Stardew Valley over this long weekend, and I’ve been thinking more and more about homesteading. The company I work for isn’t as bad as Joja Mart from Stardew Valley, and I need the money, at least for long enough so we can save up for our future. We’ve been talking and thinking about homesteads sort of in passing for a couple years now, but I’m thinking about it a lot lately.
My problem with work isn’t the work, it’s the meaning. It’s what you’re accomplishing in the grand scheme of the universe, and for me, and I think most of us, if we look at what we’re doing, it doesn’t really do anything. I mean, we do, I get things “accomplished” at work, but the only person that benefits is my boss, and it benefits their boss, and so on and potentially the customer, but would the customer need this thing if we weren’t obsessed with money? Does this help the human race survive on earth? Does this make me feel good? Connected? Meaningful?
I think a homestead would be closer to that than what I do now, for sure, but it’s a terrifying, albeit exciting concept. I don’t know if it’s achievable for us, or even if that’s really what we want. I’m just thinking aloud at this point.
I think I’m going to have to write at night and schedule my posts to come out the following morning. I don’t love the idea of this since I like writing better in the morning, which I don’t have time for anymore unless I give more of my time away to my employer for free. I know there are people out there that will think I’m just a complainer, but someone has to point out what’s wrong. We’ve been conditioned to not complain, and to put our heads down and work hard, but if that doesn’t make us happy, we need to try something different.
If you’ve been reading for a while you’ll probably know I’m not that happy of a guy in general. So when I’m using my day for someone else’s gain, and I don’t get to write when I’m feeling creative, and I’m losing my time, and my life, it’s tough. I just feel down at the moment and needed to get that off my chest.
I need to write. For my sanity. Maybe that’s why I’ve felt so constricted, I haven’t been releasing everything I’m holding on to. For me, writing is that warm shower for emotions and it makes you feel a little better afterwards. Cathartic, I think.
Anyways, feeling a little better myself, and going to try to adjust to my new schedule this week.
As always, thanks.
